Autistic joy is a concept that lots of people in the autistic community are trying to describe at the moment.
For me, it describes a moment of bliss where I feel both deeply and intensely connected to both myself and the object (or subject) of my focus to the exclusion of everything else around me and to a point where I can’t tell where I end and the object begins. Like we are one connected whole and where time feels circular and unimportant. It is a feeling so intense that it is almost spiritual.
I think maybe the best way to describe it is as my body “humming with delight”. Like when you find the resonance on a crystal glass or tuning forks and it makes all the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and you deeply relax.
There are only a handful of things that bring this joy and sense of deep connection and satisfaction for me and it's different for every individual. It’s the only place that my brain can slow down and stop buzzing with its usual train of busy thoughts. The only moments of relief from constant noise.
Autistic Joy
The elastic noodle pings
The vibration journeys through my fingers
It calibrates my soul as it resonates
A calmness into the inner depths of my being
I am transported to another realm
A gap between reality
A moment suspended in time
I am standing in the silence of the moors
My lungs fill with the fresh scent
Of purpose and belonging
The Earth vibrates through my body
A buzz of life growing and being
A resonating presence
My feet planted on the warm mossy heathers
My soul grounded in nature
Connecting
So that I can’t tell where I end
and nature begins
We merge into one whole being
Light and energy and hope
Hope so raw and fresh
It catches my breath
Salty tears mingle
With the dusty particles of
Pollen
That have swept a fleece
Across my bare skin
Their sticky honey clings
A covering of love and acceptance
Time is endless in this moment
Of pure autistic joy
Autistic “Glimmer”
I heard “Glimmer” used the other day to describe how autistic joy can be used to regulate the body. In the same way that a “trigger” will dysregulate the nervous system.
I saw this “glimmer of hope” last year when I was working with a young autistic person with a severe learning disability who was in so much distress, they were turning over furniture and hitting themselves and others.
As an autistic health professional, I am often very quick at noticing the small sensory details that make a huge difference to an individual.
I noticed a glimmer moment that perfectly regulated this young person. In fact, we found two glimmers! And three months later, the family told me that the distress had stopped the moment they tapped into the glimmer and broken furniture and meltdowns were now a thing of the past.
I will leave you with a couple of my own glimmers.
The tiny hairs on a young leaf…
The twisty curls of the climbing passion flower…
The feel of the smooth bark of the silver birch…
(triggers happy memories of girl guiding, the smell of campfires, and climbing the apple tree in my childhood back garden… my safe spaces)
The soft mossy crunch of the moors under my feet…
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