Ending well

It’s been a tough year. Trauma-focused therapy is really hard work. But in many ways it has also been an extremely rewarding and liberating year as I have reconnected with parts of myself that have been hidden for many years.

It has felt like younger parts of myself have been stuck in a time loop, unable to experience the relief of processing their traumas but they have finally been able to share their stories. Connecting with these vulnerable parts has also meant learning to trust again and believe that I can be there for myself.

Ending therapy after a year of weekly sessions has been very challenging. These two poems express some of that emotion and hope for moving forward into a new year.

How do you end well

When all your ends have been

So full of sorrow

No more tomorrow

To borrow your strength

Or wallow in the warmth

Of your embrace

A hollow space

In the place

You held

Me

This time last year

My parts broken inside

All tangled and tied

I reached within

And pulled at the threads

Unravelling terror

Fear and dread

Then flesh, still alive

Barely breathing

One hand

Tiny and soft

Then another

As we pulled them

Out of their terrible

Lonely darkness

The starkness of the bright lights

Contrasting against the nights

At the bottom of a forgotten pit

My lost children

I am here now

You are safe

I sit you one by one

On the wall

I see you all

I see the pain you hold

Be bold and take my hand

Standing tall and brave

A wave of strength

A warm glow

As we grow

Older

Together