It’s been a hell of a couple of weeks, which is why I haven’t posted in a while. I am coming off antidepressants because I haven’t had a full night’s sleep since the day I started on it 6 months ago.
I have no idea what on earth possessed me to sign up for a stand-up comedy act!
I’m going to blame it on the withdrawal side effects making more impulsive than usual 😭 Or perhaps I was having a psychotic episode of grandeur when I signed up 😩
Everyone keeps telling me that my poetry is really good, which doesn’t make much sense really because it tends to make people cry. Let’s hope that my comedy won’t have the same effect 🤣
You can sponsor me for this event via my Just Giving page. I’m fundraising for MIND because they are doing a cracking job of supporting me through my mental health crisis.
Message me if you want to buy a ticket for the show on 23rd June or you want to pay for someone else’s ticket. I only have 10 tickets available.
No one tells you about the potential side-effects of coming off medications. When I googled my symptoms, I am apparently having “severe” side effects, including some psychotic symptoms like hallucinations, out of body experiences (more than usual) and delusional religious dreams (where I am all powerful 🤣).
It has been really difficult dealing with the daily mood swings (lots of crying 😭). I am so lucky to have an employer who allows me to work extremely flexibly and recognises that the work I do is still outstanding despite the current challenges. I would have been forced to take sick leave in any other job. It's a good job autistic people work at 130% compared to the average employee 🤔 (not bragging, based on actual research).
I wrote this poem while having a lovely day at the seaside. It’s pretty much a “normal” day for me now, to swing between emotions from moment to moment. But writing creatively helps to make it feel less frightening.
Withdrawal
10 minutes ago
I was combing the beach
The perfect pebble within my reach
10 minutes later
I stepped in a cave
Of shadowy dark thoughts crashing in waves
10 minutes ago
I was watching the sea
The bobbing so gentle and calming to me
Now 10 minutes later
I've suddenly dropped
The moods of withdrawal
Are smashing on rocks
10 minutes ago
I was breathing fresh air
Grounded and present, no sign of despair
But 10 minutes later
I've ground to a halt
Inhaling the fumes of emotion-assault
See MIND website: What withdrawal effects can antidepressants cause?
If you’re feeling flush or you’re as impulsive as me, you can buy me a coffee here:
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